July 20, 2007 by Lola.

Do you feel like you are one of the “Nice Guys” that always comes in last? Do you feel whiny, pathetic and in need of everyone’s pity because of this? Do you never get the girl / job / house / milkshake of your dreams because of this? Then this blog is dedicated to you.

I would like to explain two things to these supposed Nice Guys, something that may clear it up for them, so that they may stop annoying me with their complaints about how wretched their lives are.

1).  There is actually no such thing is a completely pure and imperfection-free Nice Guy. Everyone on the planet has something about them, something they do or even think about that is not very Nice. It’s called Being a Human. So stop wandering around with the Saintly Syndrome, thinking we are blessed indeed to have you in our presence, just because you don’t abuse people or you go to church every Sunday. 

2).  The whole distinction between the Nice Guy and the Bad Boy (cue the oooooo’s and gasps) is really tired and out-dated. Getting what you want and living the most amazing life you can has nothing to do with being a Nice Guy. In case you have been living under a rock for the past 20 or so years, the world doesn’t work like that. You can be the most extraordinary, wonderful, super-duper, awesomely stupendous guy on the planet. How am I supposed to know that if you won’t even open your mouth?

No, what it’s really about is having self-confidence, belief that you are someone incredible and have something to contribute to the world. Come on guys! You want that hot girl? Talk to her, get her interested in you, and dare I say, be brave and make the first move.

I’ll give you a moment to recover from that last suggestion, while I tell you about my experience. I am about to give up on a Nice Guy because he just won’t ask me out. He likes me, and I can tell, but he just won’t make a move. I have to continually do the asking and I can’t stand it anymore. Maybe he has issues, maybe he’s been emotionally ravaged by a past relationship and he can’t handle rejection. Well, if there’s someone over the age of 18 who doesn’t feel exactly the same way, please raise your hands. No takers? As I thought.

Nice Guys, get over yourselves. Grow up and stop acting like little boys and maybe someone will actually give you a chance, because while you have that whole gripey, wimpery thing going on, no-one, including the hot girl you saw this morning, is going to touch you with a ten-foot barge pole.

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July 10, 2007 by Lola.

Let’s chat about those totally, like, awesome, like, social butterflies, Paris and Nicole, the latest train-wrecks in Hollyweird, because the world hasn’t quite spoken about them enough yet. It’s virtually impossible to pick which one is more deranged and confused, but hey, after a quick coin toss, Ms. Hilton landed face up. Lucky girl.

So Paris has had a, *cough* fascinating life…. besides being completely spoilt and absolutely useless, let’s delve straight into the infamous prison sentence. Instead of being a big girl about it and just doing the time she was ordered to do, and then using it to her advantage (she’s allowed), she turns into some whiney, whinging little twit who suddenly suffers various nameless psychological problems and must go home immediately! For someone who constantly deals with the public and its perception of her, she can be really brainless. 

She finally decides to be “brave” (before the crowd starts gathering outside with their pitchforks) and does her time. She never looks in a mirror (because there most likely wasn’t one), fears her food will be poisoned and finds God. Not bad for 23 days. Will Paris finally change her ways? Apparently not. One week out of prison she goes on Larry King, is suspected of lying during the whole interview and now she’s back on the LA party scene. She might consider taking up a hobby that, for once, doesn’t involve DRUGS, DRINKING AND DRIVING. D is not a lucky letter for you girl, get a clue!

Then we have the lovely Ms. Richie. Also in a wee bit o’ trouble for her alcoholic ways and thus also possibly facing some prison time, and now pregnant. There are a few reasons for this “unexpected” pregnancy circulating, the favourite of which seems to be that she planned it to stay out of prison. Well, who am I to judge, but I think this whole pregnancy trend going around is completely ridiculous.

Now I am not a traditional girl, since I don’t believe much in marriage and I’m fine with single moms. But come on, STOP HAVING BABIES!!! The world has enough inhabitants now, you can stop procreating. And stop having Accident Babies. I’m starting to think that nobody gets taught sex ed. anymore! Nicole seems to be one of these people, she’s known her boyfriend for all of five minutes and now they’re having a kid. Is that really the life she wants? Oh wait, it’s not her life that might be awful, so no, she probably doesn’t care.

These are the people we see every day. They’re not necessarily those that we look up to (because who would actually want to?), although even our “leaders”, moral and political, have their fair share of scandals… affairs, corruption, extramarital babies, drugs and alcohol abuse. But we do see them everyday, and like it or not, we seem to be following their lead. The Simple-Minded Madness has to stop!!

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July 7, 2007 by Lola.

My very first curmudgeonly blog… I’m quite excited. But not excited enough to take away from how extremely angry I am right now. My first Cranky Chapter will be about people… human nature I suppose. Not exactly Pop Culture, although being a complete idiot definitely seems to be popular these days.

I am so tired of people using their life circumstances as an excuse to cover everything. Everything they should do, could do, even things they actually want to do. They seem to think the world should relieve them of having to be a productive person, because things are tough. Be as rude, lazy, aggressive and unfriendly as you like, we understand, because life is not as fantabulous as you’d like it to be. Kids, let me fill you in. Everyone’s life is tough, we all have our problems and troubles and things that drive us nuts and bring us down. But if we all sat around feeling permanently sorry for ourselves, how would anything ever get done? You might as well go and sit in the corner and die quietly, for all you’re contributing to the world.

The biggest defence that circulates these days is our pasts. People complain and moan about the fact that their daddy wasn’t around when they were two years old (really? You can really remember that far back? I can barely remember what I was doing last week!). Or they claim they abuse their children because it happened to them when they were little ones. They take drugs and drink themselves into a coma because they didn’t get a job they applied for, or they try to kill themselves over a lover that’s jilted them. All very terrible things, I’m sure, but GET OVER IT.

But the best is yet to come, because there are those that use their past as an alibi for something totally unrelated. For example, “I had a really bad childhood (how much more vague could you be?), so I’m really sorry if my poetry and writing sucks. I know it does, it’s so awful actually.” Alright… then why are you still writing? If you believe your work is so disgusting, why would you want to inflict it on other human beings? Because you don’t really believe it, what you’re really looking for is someone to flood you with compliments and make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Someone to validate you, in other words. If someone really does think you’ve done a dreadful job of it, then you can just haul out the bad childhood excuse. Puh-lease! 

I can’t stand people like that, they annoy me endlessly. Life sucks a lot of the time, but that’s the way the cookie crumbles! Instead of letting it beat you into a pulp or turn you into a raving lunatic, get up again. Dust yourself off and punch back! There are people out there who are suffering much more than you are. For the most part, we have it pretty good, so either pull yourself towards yourself, or stay away from me. I would hate to catch the Idiocy Illness.

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