November 15, 2008 by fbk.

The world’s smartest and wisest liberal was walking along a beach when he saw something glass sticking out of the sand.  Thinking that someone might trip or step on it and get cut, the liberal started working the piece of glass up out of the sand.  When he had fully unearthed it, he saw that it was a beautifully worked and intricate multi-colored glass bottle.  Out of curiousity, he pulled out the stopper.

Suddenly, he was engulfed in a cloud of smoke that formed above his head into a giant figure.  In a booming voice this figure cried out, “At last!  I have been freed!  20,000 years couped up in that bottle, and I’m free.”

Looking down at his bottle prison, the Djinn noticed the liberal standing with his mouth agog.  “For freeing me, I will grant you one wish, but only one, so choose wisely.”

For a moment the liberal stammered, then he pinched himself, obviously to determine if he dreamed.  Finally, he said, “I have always believed and been acknowledged by my peers as the smartest and wisest person they know.  I always have the answers ready,” after a pause, he went on in an aggrieved tone, “But I never believed in people who could be trapped in bottles or grant wishes.  This means that there are things that I don’t know.  I want to know everything and truly be the wisest being that exists.”

The Djinn looked down sadly while shaking his head, “I cannot make you God, nor can I make you wiser and smarter than I am myself.  Perhaps I can make you wiser and smarter than you are, though.  Maybe by 20,000 times, to celebrate my freedom.  Would that be acceptable?”

The liberal thought about it, and he couldn’t even imagine being 20,000 times smarter and wiser.  He thought of all the things he could do with such intelligence and wisdom, and envisioned being the world’s first trillionaire.  Greedily, he nodded his head in agreement with the Djinn.  The Djinn waved his hand, and the liberal found himself transported from the beach, he also felt confused and anxious and realized just how little he really knew. 

“Wait!  I don’t feel wise or smart.  I feel uncertainty and confusion.  All of the things I used to believe are foolish, and what I now am certain of are almost the opposite.  If I’m 20,000 times smarter and wiser, why do I feel this way?”

“In your former state, you believed you were wise and smart, but now you truly are.  Things are neither as simple or as nuanced as you previously believed.  Good luck!  I have to go now,” and so saying, the Djinn evaporated into a mist that dissapated into nothingness.

The man who was formerly the world’s smartest and wisest liberal looked around the office he had found himself in, just as a man in a black suit came in to announce, “Mr. President, it’s time for us to start moving to get to the inauguration ceremony.  If we move fast enough, we can be there before President-Elect Obama.”

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November 5, 2008 by Les Smart.

1) Who will your suggested “Internal Security Force” defend us against since you don’t believe in securing the boarders?  And why will it need to be the same size as our current military?

 2) If you cut the current military budget by 25% and then establish this “Internal Security Force” that is to be equally funded, aren’t you actually increasing the overall military budget by 50%?   (100 - 25% x 2 = 150)  Did they teach basic math at Harvard Law School?

3) Why did you promise so much in your campaign and then immediately try to lower expectations in your acceptance speech?  Duh, how silly of me.  Promises are made to get elected and since you’ve never really accomplished anything you’re not sure you can deliver but what the heck you got elected.

4) Do you propose to change the name of our country to The United Soviet States of America?

 5) How do you propose to tax the small business owners who earn over $250,000 per year and keep them from passing that expense on to the consumer? 

6) Are you going to change the entire tax structure so those earning over $250,000 per year can no longer take advantage of the copious tax breaks to either drastically reduce their tax burden or even to eliminate it?

7) If you are going to reduce the military budget by 25% and we can’t now afford to sustain a force in Iraq and fight a war in Afganistan at the same time without over-stretching our forces, how will we be able to defend our country from an attack by say Argentina and/or Iran?

8) Why is it important to cut our military budget if the majority of our spending goes to welfare programs considering the constitution mandates that the national government provide for the common defence but, according to the defined and limited duties of our government under the constitution, welfare should fall under the egis of the states?

9) If race was not an issue in this election, would you have won without 96% of the black vote?

10) What kind of puppy are you going to get your children?  (That’s one of the tough questions the media will be throwing at you in the days leading to you inaugeration.  I just thought I’d prepare you.)

 11) Will Rev. Wright say the prayer at your inaugeration?  If not why not and (more importantly) if so why?  Also will you allow them to play the national anthym?

12) Will Bill Ayers be our next Secretary of Defense, Secretary of Homeland Security or next Supreme Court Justice?

13) What will you name your dog?  May I suggest Vladimir or Hugo?

14) Will the tax cut to Americans earning under $250,000 per year be more or less than those they will lose when you allow the Reagan tax cuts to lapse?

15) Will the American tax payers have to foot the bill every time Biden has to have his foot removed from his mouth?  If so, will that mean you will have to hold back on tax cuts or other promised programs?

16) Will Hilary be given a spot in your cabinet or will you just put her in charge of the placement of important files?

17) Will Bill Clinton be given a cabinet position or will you institute a new position of Court Jester to the President?

18) What do you consider your greatest stength your outside shot or your rebounding?

19) Colin Powell has figuratively taken Monica Lewinski’s position will he find another way to serve your White House?

20) Would you rather go on a hunting trip with Dick Cheney or Sarah Palin?

21) Are you planning on reaching out across the isle to Republicans the same way you extended your hand to ‘Joe the Plumber’?

22) Is it okay for you to wear a flag pin now that you are President or does it clash with the pink color of your politics?

23) If your wife was finally proud of America for the first time in her adult life when you were nominated, is it fair to say now that you were elected that she is tickled pink?

24) When you pull the troups out of Iraq will you put them back in when the Shia and Sunni start up a revelotion to get control of the new government or will you leave that up to Iran to settle?

25) Will you try to explain to Senator Byrd that you are really the President Elect and not Joe Biden and will you offer Senator Byrd the position of US Ambassador to the UN so the entire world can enjoy his speeches?

26) Will Barney Franks be our next Secretary of Housing and Urban Developement since his work with Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac helped assure your election?

27) How many steps before the King?

28) Will you be able to get it all done in two terms or will you need to pull a Bloomberg?

29) Did you really get all your campaign funds $10 at a time from individual donors?  Didn’t anyone give like $11.75 or something?

30) Will you spare the lives of Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity after your party distroys their careers?

More questions will follow if I’m still allow to speak and am free after this is posted.Secretary for Housing and Urban Developmentecretary for Housing and Urban Development

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